A week ago today, a pregnant moon hung low in the sky, the Earth moved, and Hope arrived.

A birth story.

A week ago today at 4:30 in the morning, a pregnant moon three nights shy of being full hung low in the sky like a paper lantern, lighting our way to the hospital. While Barry was driving, Rhonda, my Doula, and I were in the back seat breathing through the contractions.

Rhonda brought our attention to the moon, which was off to our right. I remember briefly noting its beauty, its luminosity practically dripping into the trees, before another contraction forced me to turn inwards again and breathe, breathe, breathe.

At some point during the 15 minute drive to the hospital, unknown to us in the car, the Earth contracted as well. An earthquake that registered a 5.2 epicenter in Illinois was felt in our area of Tennessee, awakening my two year old son (my mother told me later) who sat up in bed and said, “What’s that!”

:: At about 4:00 in the afternoon on Thursday, April 17th, after laboring at home all day, never really quite sure if this was “it”, I put in a call to Rhonda and asked her to be ready to come in case the “Braxton Hicks” I was having started to turn into something more. After weeks of thinking that I was about to go into labor (and even though the contractions were pretty strong) I was unwilling to call in the reinforcements in case everything stopped again. About three hours later I was starting to get nervous about the strength of the contractions, and I called her again and asked her to come.

Barry had been at work all day and I knew that I would not see him until at least 10pm that night because he was helping out a friend with a play, and he would not be able to come home if I needed him until intermission. My mother was here caring for the kids and doing everything in the world and more to care for all of us, but I felt strangely alone, and I needed someone who could focus on me while my mother took care of the kids.

Rhonda lives 45 minutes away, and by the time that she arrived at my house, I had alerted Barry via email that I may or may not need him to come home at intermission. He replied that he was coming home no matter what. Almost as soon as Rhonda arrived, and by the time that Barry came home, the contractions didn’t feel as strong, and I began to worry that I had troubled everybody for nothing.

Rhonda encouraged me to go about my normal routine, so we finished putting the kids to bed and other than that, try as I might, I really just felt like sitting on the couch and catching up with Rhonda, who helped to bring our son, Aidan, into the world 2 1/2 years ago. We talked while sipping hot tea and pausing every now and then to let me concentrate on the strong ones. I was still feeling silly for calling everyone to come home, and I told Rhonda that she was free to go back home if she needed to, but Rhonda said that she was perfectly happy to sleep on the couch, “because you never know, you could go into labor any time tonight and I might not make it back in time.”

So after making sure that Rhonda was comfortable and had everything she needed, I headed upstairs to bed, Hoping that something would happen that night.

Well, something did. :~)

At some point during the night the contractions started waking me up. I remember that I eventually needed to sit up and breathe through some of them. I had no idea what time it was, I just remember getting up to look out of the window, hoping to see the faintest hint of dawn, but seeing only the moon just past its highest arc in the sky. Over to my left, my daughter, Marlena, slept peacefully on a mattress on the floor (we always let company have her room) and I remember feeling very peaceful with her and the moon to keep me company, as Barry had fallen asleep while putting Aidan to bed.

Eventually, I knew that I would not be going back to sleep that night, and I made my way downstairs to get something to drink. Rhonda heard me coming down the stairs and made room for me to sit next to her on the couch. Very shortly after that we began to do some relaxation techniques, and she gave me a wonderful neck and shoulder massage. The intensity of the contractions tapered off again, and Rhonda got up to make me the absolute best cup of tea I have ever had in my whole life. It was peppermint tea with enough sugar in it to make a spoon stand up straight, and I thought I had never tasted anything so good, so heart and soul warming in my life.

The contractions picked up again almost immediately, and around 4:oo am I decided that something felt different. Things were getting intense, and it was time to wake up Barry. I had been letting him sleep through all of this because one, I knew how tired he was; two, this was the third time I had been through this and I felt that having Rhonda there was all I needed at the moment; and three, I needed a refreshed and well rested Daddy to take care of the kids the next day.

As it turns out, Aidan had woken up wet and Barry was on his way down to get a clean diaper. I was so relieved to see him. I told him that it was time to go to the hospital. We woke my mother up so that she could put Aidan back to bed, Rhonda grabbed my suitcase while Barry got the car ready, and we left.

So, one poetic moment with the moon, and one earthquake later, we arrived at the hospital around 4:45 am. I had decided on the way to the hospital that I would be asking for the epidural. I was tired, and with a broken arm and toe, everyone had expected me to anyway. I was also very afraid of the pain of transition and pushing, something I hadn’t experienced before because I had epidurals with my other two deliveries.

We made our way up to Labor and Delivery, I was checked by a friendly and cooperative nurse named Danelia. I remember looking at her name tag and thinking that Danelia was a very unusual and pretty name. Danelia announced that I was 6 centimeters dilated and had a bulging bag of waters. I let Danelia know that I wanted to have the epidural. It took forever to jump through all of the hospital hoops and finally they told me that the epidural would be administered in 45 minutes. 45 minutes! Let me tell you, that is an eternity to a woman in labor seeking relief.

Rhonda, Barry, and I continued to work together through each contraction, which were starting to make me make a lot of noise. :~) And then with one whopper of a contraction my water broke and to me it seemed as if I had flooded the whole room. I couldn’t believe that much amniotic fluid was in there! Almost instantly the nurses rushed back into the room and Danelia had to practically force me onto the bed to check me. I did not want to lie down, but as she was checking me I felt the indescribable urge to push, just as Danelia said, “She’s complete!”

I remember that I started to scream with the contractions, as I had lost my ability to stay in control and because I was terrified. It was too late for an epidural and the path I was on had no returns. I was going to have to do this. I remember Danelia and Rhonda encouraging me to take that energy that I was wasting on screaming, and apply it to pushing. I remember Rhonda taking my face in her hands and forcing me to look at her as she calmly said, “Jennifer, your baby is coming. Your baby is coming. Breathe and push.” I did my best to catch my breath and push.

I remember a cool washcloth being applied to my forehead and cheeks.

I remember hearing Barry’s encouragement in my right ear, his excitement as our baby’s head crowned, and his positive energy, keeping me as focused on getting that baby out as I could be.

I remember yelling, “get it out!” and Danelia saying, “Now, miss Jennifer? You gonna have to get your own baby out! Get mad and push that baby out!” We laugh about that now, but at the time I wanted to slap her. :~)
Barry later told me that as Hope’s head was coming out, and before her shoulders emerged, she opened her eyes! What a way to say YES! to life!

After just 5 or 6 pushes, the baby was out and Barry and Rhonda were saying, “It’s a girl! It’s a girl!”

I was too exhausted and in too much pain to hold the baby, so Barry took her and I could hear him singing softly to her, something he has done with each of our children right after they were born, and which brings tears to my eyes because it is the tenderest thing I have ever heard.

As I look back on all of this a week later, I am overcome with the adrenalin and emotion of it all. Yes, childbirth is painful, but each time I am amazed at how exceptionally beautiful the whole experience is, culminating in that moment when I first get to gaze into my newborn’s eyes.

We have had a great week so far. Out of all three deliveries, I have recovered from this one the quickest.

The children love having a baby sister and are adjusting beautifully.

Sleep is a distant memory, but I know that Barry and I can forge ahead through one more newborn phase. We may look 10 years older when we come out the other side, but we will have three beautiful children to share the rest of our lives with.

Welcome home, Hope.