grass angel

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I remember when summer felt this good.

That 365 thing

I surprised myself by deciding to give this a try, especially seeing as how my blogging track record has been so slack for the past three months. I don’t know what came over me. So, here goes!

I kept thinking that I should wait for some special day to get started, like January 1, a solstice, or a birthday, or what have you, but this is supposed to be about every day ordinary stuff, right? So I picked an ordinary every day kind of day.

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Hope is refusing to pose for me. I love how resolutely her arms hang at her side.

Right. Only 364 more days to go!

Oh, and I added a flickr badge over there on the right. It links to my 365 set of pictures on flickr. Right now it’s just flashing around this one picture of Hope, but as I add a picture every day, it will get more interesting. You can click on it any time to go directly to my set and see new pictures.

yum

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Imagine my squeal of delight when I walked into my local quilt shop and saw that they had some Japanese Fabrics! I quickly made a pile of six 1/2 yard pre-cuts, thought about how it was still the middle of the month, and put three back. That was very hard to do. I love the three that I kept. What to make??? So many ideas are in my head. Keep your fingers crossed that they don’t stay on the fabic shelf long enough to collect dust.

my not so still life

She woke up crying from her nap. I went in to get her and took her into the bathroom to wipe her nose. She rested her head on my shoulder and we looked at each other in the mirror. I caught my breath and was transfixed by what I saw. The light was so soft and perfect on her skin. There we were, not just Jennifer and Hope, but a mother and her baby. I rocked gently from side to side, drinking in all of the details. Our skin, side by side, so perfectly matched. I felt like I was looking at a living and breathing painting. I wanted to capture it somehow, but I was afraid to move, afraid that she would not stay in that position if I got my camera. So I chose to stay there, swaying, each of us resting in the other for several minutes, until I began to fear that I would not remember this moment. I quickly moved to the next room and picked up my camera and went back into the bathroom. She never raised her head, and she obliged me with a few awkward and blurry shots. But it was enough.

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Sometimes it’s the little things

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I always find it hard to go through and put away the most recent set of clothes that the kids have outgrown. There is something a little sad about seeing the little piles of clothes that they won’t wear again, as if I am neatly folding pieces of their childhood away. There are many clothes which end up in the pile for the local consignment store, or for Goodwill, but there are always the ones that I can’t bear to part with. A set of pajamas that remind me of snuggly bedtime routines, or a summer t-shirt that still carries the faint odor of sunscreen. These clothes I put in storage boxes in the attic. I don’t know what I’ll do with them in the future. I really like the idea of making quilts out of them one day, but right now I know I would be unable to cut into the cloth.

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I think I’ll miss “Hey Dude!” and “Ladies Man” the most. ~smile

Mama Bread

I made some Mama Bread the other day. The recipe is not officially called Mama Bread, but it’s what Marlena started calling this bread when I made it on a more regular basis a few years ago. I haven’t made it in a long time, mainly because after the last move I couldn’t find the issue of Cooking Light that it was in. But last week I found it in a stash of magazines that I was going through. Yay!

Making the bread took me back to our little house in Virginia, which was out in the country. We lived up on a hill with cows for neighbors. We lived there for only 3 years, and it was a very modest little house, but it was the first house that we ever owned and so it holds a very special place in my heart. It’s also a special place because it was just the three of us. None of us had any idea that we would be blessed with two more family members in the years to come. When I look back on those days, they almost seem… quiet. I know that it wasn’t that way, that it was full of the noise and bustle of our family life, but much in the same way that one tweaks a picture in the darkroom or photoshop until it becomes more pleasing to the eye, time has a funny way of blurring the edges, adding a layer sentiment, and turning up the glow of reminiscence.

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I loved being out in the country. I did things that I loved. I had a flower garden that Marlena helped me plant and pick bouquets from, I composted on a regular basis ( I was quite a fanatic about it, even going so far as to regularly pick up used coffee grounds from the coffee shop in town, and in return, bring them flowers from the garden that their coffee grounds had helped to grow. I would even stop and pick up other people’s bagged leaves because we had very few trees on our hill and I needed a carbon source), I checked out books from the library on chickens (If we had stayed there, there would have been a hand built chicken coop out back. Barry didn’t want chickens because of the snakes that they would attract, but I was chicken smitten), and I cooked a lot more because we were so far away from town that there were no quick trips to the market, or restaurant choices for take out.

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Here are some pictures of Marlena back then. I have had a really good time tonight going back through all of the pictures from 2003, 2004, and early 2005. It wasn’t that long ago that she was my little helper in the house and garden, but at the same time, given how different our lives today, it seems like another world, encased in a snow globe of sorts. I am surprised at how quickly the tears came to me eyes as I looked at pictures from that time. It’s kind of like seeing a post card of a foreign country that you once traveled to and knowing that you can never visit it again.

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Oh my! This was supposed to be a rather simple post about a loaf of bread, and somehow I got lost in my thoughts. I guess that happens when you sit down to write at 11:30pm and find yourself getting very sentimental while the rest of the house sleeps.

So, on with the bread!

One of the things that I really wanted to learn how to do while we were in Virginia, was to bake bread. I checked out all kinds of books from the library and completely overwhelmed myself with information about oven bricks, wild yeast, and milling my own flour, that I sort of thought it was too much to live up to. Then the May 2005 issue of Cooking Light came out and there was a recipe for Simple White Bread. It looked harmless enough so I gave it a try. Turns out it is pretty hard to mess up, and I have found it to be a very reliable loaf of bread.

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It’s still a big hit! I found the recipe on line here if you would like to try it out. I wonder how much the taste and smell trigger memories in Marlena that she might not be aware of. She says that she remembers the the house in Virginia, and she remembers Mama Bread very clearly. One thing is for certain, Mama Bread is back in heavy rotation around here.

Thanks, Kitty.

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I totally scored at Goodwill the other day. Ever since I saw this idea (LOVE her blog!) and these (which I am determined to own one of her lovely creations some day), I have been on the lookout for the perfect vintage suitcases for the kids to put their dress up clothes in. I never could find any that I really, really liked, and now I think I know why. My mother had a set of  red, hard shell American Tourister luggage EXACTLY like these, and I have always carried a soft spot for them in my heart. I remember seeing pictures of her when she got that luggage as a graduation gift from high school. She still used them when I was a little girl. I can’t really pinpoint the time when she stopped using them for more updated luggage, or what happened to the old set. I should ask her. Opening these up sent me right back in time. I remember how much I loved the quilted satiny feel, the smell of my mother’s perfume, the pretend trips I would take with them.

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The interiors are in near mint condition with only a slightly musty smell. Barry suggested putting some scented dryer sheets in the pockets, which I did. I would eventually like to get some lavender sachets to tuck away in those pockets. Speaking of pockets, there was a stash of old school, super sized tampons in one (and for some reason when I found them, I said to myself, “Well of course, isn’t that what all of us ladies leave behind in our luggage?), and a prescription pill bottle in another which had the name “Kitty” on it. I can’t tell you how much I love that a woman named Kitty owned this luggage.

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Marlena directed this shot. We just had to get one of her in the suitcase “cause that’s just one of the silliest things ever!”

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I took the opportunity to fool around in photoshop with some new actions that I downloaded from Pioneer Woman. One of her actions is called Seventies, and I love the touch of vintage that it gave to these pictures. I played with the opacity a bit until I got the feeling I was after. Those old pictures of my mother that were taken in the late 60’s must have been on my mind.

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There was lots of dress up going on as we were organizing the clothes into their new home. I’m much happier with this solution than with the big plastic tub that the clothes were in before. I think Marlena is on the edges of outgrowing this game. I am, of course, not ready for her too be done with this stage of her childhood.

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One thing is for certain, we need a lot more dress up clothes for boys in there. All poor Aidan has is his astronaut suit and some old man’s hat. Although, come to think of it, he is pretty much happy just being an astronaut.

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I wonder what kind of woman Kitty was. She obviously valued the things that she owned, because these suitcases have been very well cared for. I wonder what kinds of trips she took. Did she take them on plane trips to far off destinations, or perhaps they were only ever placed in the trunks of cars for trips to visit beloved relatives. I wonder what she thought about as she packed. Did she have kids that bounced around her, asking a million questions? Or perhaps she was unmarried, a homebody that only traveled a few times. Whatever the case may be, I am so glad that I spotted them under the rack of comforters, and was able to bring them home for  new adventures with us.

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are you still there? I miss you. My blogging mojo is out of kilter. I hope to get back into the swing of things here soon. As you can see, I have lots of help at the computer these days. Happy help too. I’ve got some things I want to show you. I’ll be back soon.

Jennifer

Revisiting April

I kind of let April get away from me as far as blogging goes, but I wanted to take a minute and share some of the big events in Hope’s world.

April was the month that Hope turned one. We had a small family celebration and Marlena helped me make the cake, which was an Apple Cake with Cream Cheese Icing. Both recipes were from a Betty Crocker cookbook. It was delish! After it was iced, I placed a paper doily on top and then dusted with cocoa powder. It was a little tricky removing the doily from the icing, but I was pleased with  the results.

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Hope was a little unsure of the feeling of icing on her fingers and she kept wanting Barry to lick it off.

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She eventually got the hang of eating the cake and a good time was had by all.

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April was also the month in which Hope began taking her first independent steps.

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I am still taken aback when I see her cross the room, or toddle off to play with her siblings. It doesn’t seem like she should be that old yet. I swear, it goes by faster with each kid. Sometimes that’s okay, and sometimes it’s a little heartbreaking.

Happy Mudder’s Day!

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I woke to the sight of my 6 year old grinning and holding a big cup of coffee, which was dripping all over my all white goose down comforter, and I knew this was shaping up to be the best Mother’s Day I had ever had.

The kids have been bursting with excitement for days now; you would think it was their birthday. I’m gonna savor every bit of it too, ’cause one day they will be adults that forget to put Hallmark cards in the mail on time for their poor forgotten mothers….. just like us.

Aidan jumped up and down on my stomach and kept saying “Happy Mudder’s Day!”, sounding for all the world like he was a kid from New Jersey. He’s also doing this weird talking while breathing in thing that I need to get on film.

The kids opened all of my talking cards for me at the same time so I have no idea what each one says individually. Ah, the soundtrack to Mother’s Day.

They helped me eat the strawberries out of my fruit salad while Hope had some of my toast. All the while Barry and I just looked at each other and laughed. I love a good belly laugh in the morning.

Did I take my camera to bed with me the night before? You betcha! I didn’t want to miss a thing!

Did I rush right in the office after finishing my coffee to blog about it? You know it! This is my Mother’s Day, after all.

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(Barry just informed me that I need to go downstairs and do the dishes and take care of the baby. In his best New Jersey accent, “Mudder’s Day is over.”) :~)